Those difficult seasons in life

I guess we all have those difficult seasons of life.  Lately, I have been going through a very challenging season.  I am so grateful and blessed we are expecting our third blessing, but this has been a very difficult pregnancy for some reason on my body.  The hardest yet.  My first trimester I not only had nausea in the morning, I had it through the day, something not normal for me.  Then the second trimester there have been multiple things going on in our personal lives that have been incredibly, incredibly difficult.  I have been having to struggle against anxiety attacks, waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning and not being able to go back to sleep, and often what really helps me is getting up, making myself some homemade hot chocolate and reading my Bible.  My pregnancy hormones also seem a lot worse than normal, and I have to be really careful about what I take so I can't take my St. Johns Wart and some of my others herbs that I used to take to help me.  On top of that, even though I can take my walks, I can't exercise to the point of raising my endorphines like I used to.  My body just can't do it right now.  I won't be able to do anything else the rest of the day.  So all my human, fleshly coping methods are not working right now.   

This last week has been the climax of the difficulty.  There are things I can't talk about openly, but let's just say it has been the worst week I have had in a very, very long time.

So, what do we do?  Where do we go?  When it really is too much, what is the answer.

Of course it sounds trite, but the answer obviously is the Lord.  Here are some things that have ministered to me lately this week.

1.  "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  There is a certain comfort in knowing that our insufficiency and lack of power is actually something that the Lord loves to use.  When I have reached the end of myself (which has been what has happened to me recently) the Lord actually is ready then to really love and make His grace known to me.  There is something incredibly sweet about being loved when we are at our weakest and worst.  It is a beautiful thing to know the Lord does that for us.

2.  "Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, and with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”  II Cor. 12:10  There are times in life when people completely misunderstand you.  There are times when like King David, people will walk along beside you and hurt insults at you and throw dirt at you.  King David allowed Shimei to do so to him.  He knew that the Lord was his defense.  He was OK with people insulting and misunderstanding him, because his self concept was not in what others thought about him, but His trust was in the Lord.  He didn't desire vengeance.  

3.  Love- the ultimate word.  The word that has a thousand different meanings.  I can love pizza, I can love having my hairdresser fix my hair so it looks perfect, I can love my house.  I can even love the cute things my kids do and the sweet things my husband does.  But can I love my enemies?  Can I love those who persecute me?  Can I lay down my life for others like Jesus did?  Can I bless those who curse me?  In and of myself, I really can't.  I have been upset and angry this week.  I didn't want to follow the Lords command to love my enemies and bless those who curse me.  I wanted to give up on people.  But that is the one thing I must never, ever do.   For Christ died for those people.  He said if I do not forgive them, than He will not forgive me.  He says if I say I love Him, but I do not love others than the truth is not in me.  I am humbled.  I am broken.  I am unable.  But His Word is sure and steadfast.  It doesn't bend in the face of  my saying, "I will not be mistreated!!!  I will have my rights!! "  No wonder His Word has changed the world.  It will not allow us to stay the same.  It will allow us to be self centered.

4.  Now after saying all of the above.  I do believe that there are times when we must "get away" like Jesus did.  There are many times that he strengthened Himself.  He had his close friends, those He could trust (most of the time, until right before He died).  Another really comforting passage is that "He knows that we are but dust".   There are times that Jesus met the physical needs.  He fed people.  He gave them rest.  And most importantly, he nourished their souls with His deep, deep love.  He looked into peoples hearts.  He said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest."   There is rest for us, and that a beautiful, Biblical concept.  I know that when my heart is overwhelmed, just forcing myself to sit down and read Scripture that pertains to my situation will calm me and quiet me, if I have an open heart to it.

So, that is my thoughts for this week.  I need to preach to myself.  I need to be reminded of these things.  Just because I wrote all this down doesn't mean that I have it together, or I act like I am remembering these things all the time.  But thankfully, I know where to go.  And I know that everything that goes on isn't only about this life.  It is about eternity.  There are things that we cannot grasp now that will make absolute perfect sense when we see Jesus.  We will be so grateful for the lessons He is trying to teach us now when we see His beautiful face filled with love.  But now we kick and scream.  We don't like the pain.  But someday that pain will be made into something beautiful.  

For truly, "he has made all things beautiful in His time."