When little ones show you the reality of who you are

The little ones are fighting..... again.  I am outside on the swing and happily reading when I see one of them wiping their eyes, saying it hurts.  Bubbles have flown into their eyes, they have been teased.  Just like yesterday they were  teased.  We try and figure out what happen, "I didn't do it."  "It was an accident".  Another adult saw it.  It wasn't an accident.  There was teasing, provoking.

I get frustrated.  "You must be kind!!!"  And when I am supposed to be in control and the adult, I have to tell myself, to stop, not be angry, and not respond in anger and frustration.

These little ones, how they show me my sin.

I am sorry little ones for the fact that I am not a perfect mama, that I still deal with my frustration and anger too.  We both need a Savior, we both need the Prince of Peace, the Spirit working in and changing our hearts.

If I ever really mess up, please come tell me.  I want to change.  I want to be open to correction from you, while realizing the amazing responsibility of having to correct and train you.

How do I do this?  How do I correct you when I see my own sin so much?  We both need grace.  We both need correction.  We both need love and understanding.

I still need to correct you.  Being unkind and lying is not ok.  It needs to be addressed.  But my own sinful tendency towards overreacting in frustration is not ok either.

We are both pilgrims on this journey.  Someday we will both stand before our Savior, and He will judge us, not on our works but on our hearts towards Him, our softness to His correction, how we learned to love others.

And so I pray for both of us that we will somehow walk in the amazing grace of the gospel, forgetting what is behind, pressing on towards the goal, loving and cherishing, for love is the greatest commandment.

I really do love you my little ones.  Pray for me as I learn to be the mama He has called me to be.