When life hurts

I wake up..... the clock says 3:30.  I struggle with the frustration inside of me... why?  I have so much on my plate already, my life is full, I am a caretaker, people depend on me, why can't my body let me get the sleep I need.

And as I lay there, the thoughts start swirling in my head.  Those hurtful words, that person who was sure they were right, and perhaps they were, but the tone in which it was said, the harshness, lack of gentleness. 

The complete misunderstanding, the harsh judgements that were made without ever talking to me.  They laid right into me.  My heart still bleeds, but my wound is starting to heal.  There will always be a scar, but I know there are good things that come with scars

It has affected those deep parts of me.  I long to take the truth, internalize it, learn from the good, and then let go of the hurtful parts, but why is it that the hurt comes back so quickly?

I am in a room, my heart hurts, I am breaking....., people are laughing, they look successful, they don't realize, and I pray they never will, the heartache I have to go through..... having a child who you know will one day fly away into the arms of Jesus....  How can you prepare for that, there is no way. 

Loneliness, pain, misunderstanding, exhaustion, dashing of lifes dreams.

Lord...... why?

My child, my child, I love you.  You are my child.  I see things that you don't.  My will for you is that you become like a beautiful diamond, pure silver, refined gold.  None of these things can happen without the chiseling hammer, the refining fire.  

Lord, let me accept this.  I don't want it, but help me to accept the refining that You have in my life.... bring me to Your Word Lord.

My friend, I would never want pain in your life, but if there is pain, know I am praying for you, and praying that You would sense God's love, peace and purpose in it.

May we walk together, hold each other up.  Let me know how I can pray for you

We are all loved, we are all under amazing grace..... may that truth sustain us, and may we feel His amazing love for us.